current insights
A few minor inner conflicts recently have brought me to a state of reflection. For this season I am embarking on feels like a painfully beautiful evolution of rapid growth.
A hallmark of this season is in taking responsibility for my own growth and self awareness. Through inner contemplation it has become increasingly important for me to deepen my meditation, ethical practices, and spiritual understandings. The word “Shoshin” lands well between these learnings. Referring to the attitude of openness, eagerness, and lack of preconceptions. The zen buddhism lens of a beginners mind, where the world feels more expansive, playful and alluring in a way. Although I tend to sit in the warmth of my own presence from time to time, adjusting to this attitude has allowed me to find lightness and curiosity in conversation and further indulge in new connections and possibilities around me. I have a sense to dream again and my mindset is a sponge for all things good, bad and in between.
Further on this — My interests in things like philosophy and spiritual explorations have deepened in order to explore my highest potential of human mind and spirit. What has also become increasingly important is not what I do in life or what possessions I may hold, but it is the way I show up in each small and perhaps mundane moment that pieces together the true beauty of my existence. Within this new level of awareness is an eagerness for fulfilling my greatest inner potential and nurturing the potential and dreams of those who surround me. I feel relatively immune to negative influences, such as things that weaken my vibration. I have a stronger commitment to my health and wellness, and just bettering myself on all levels. It’s a completely different mindset to the obscurity of my early 20’s — consumed with perfectionism, external validation, self sabotaging behaviours, and falling thinly between the slate of pride and ego.
Recently, I heard the phrase “Objects in mirror are closer than they appear” — used in a more metaphoric reflection for inner conflicts and outer confrontations. It was a slight ah-ha that spoke to the idea that all that is amplified in my own mind is merely a reflection of the unaddressed inner turmoil within. You are the only one in the way of yourself. This expansion of awareness further dissolves a great deal of pessimism and negativity, and in turn allows one to release the need to look outside for anything more. All answers to my highest potential knowingly sit within. All I have to do is re-centre, readjust and realign accordingly. Each experience therefore perceived as a small ripple in the grand depths of who I am and who I am becoming.
In this deeper sense of peace and calm, my mind and heart feel more open to positive beliefs. The power of self healing and love in all forms feels more readily available. Periods of inner stillness and beauty begin to occur with greater frequency and duration. It’s a softness in the discomfort that gives me a profound ability to communicate directly with my mind and tell it exactly what I want, how I want to feel, and what I want to believe about myself. My cells radiate differently. My spine more spacious, flexible and firm. Days unfold with the lightness of a love affair that fuses together my intellectual mind and intuitive heart that in turn builds a loving connection to myself and my surroundings. In a simpler way, letting go becomes more automatic and continuous. And as I sit and reflect on the flow of these words, I marvel at what is yet to come.
P
